MICHAEL MYERS: A MAN AND HIS DREAM

...A Tribute By Eagle Te...

When the original Halloween hit the theaters in 1978, the horror genre was essentially a dead medium as all of its glories were to be found in the past with the great monster movie age of the 1930s and 40s. The unparalleled success of this film marked the beginning of a resurgence in the horror movie genre and forever changed the way horror movies would be made as well as how they would be percieved. The Halloween series in essence is (along with the Friday the 13th series) the quintessential building block and cornerstone of the present bad horror movie genre as we all know and love it!!! The Halloween series marked the first use of alot of the core elements in bad horror movies that we now so ingraciously take for granted. The first and perhaps the most important element: The unstoppable, superhuman killer character type that can be found in nearly every bad horror movie today. I mean, come on, what fun is some wimped out killer who any half wit could take out with a baseball bat or a quick GAT GAT GAT from a Glock. Give me some psycho, highly motivated, superhuman beast who can take gunshots, needles to the eyes, incineration, hits from moving vehicles, and vicious multiple hit combos and STILL keep coming after your ass and I will give you a horror superstar who will delight and terrify small children and retarded college students (sorry guys!!!). Micheal Myers represents the first time that this character type was implemented and we should all shit our pants in homage to Micheal for bringing into being this element that makes all stupid horror movies so much fun and inevitably sets the stage for scores upon scores of shameless sequels which bring out the depravity and stupid kills that we live for here at NOTC!!! The second essential element that the Halloween series first brought to the table: TEENAGERS are the victims!!!! I want you to think about a world where teenagers aren't the victims...pretty scary, huh? Its like a porno with no titties...it leaves you crying and wanting your money back...kind of like the feeling you suckers out there (Sorry Z-Man) have who actually bought Vanilla Ice's new album! I think that we can all agree that teenagers make the perfect victims...I mean come on, they think that they are invincible (a vicious myth quickly dispelled by Myers and his angry ways!!!), they fornicate, drink like fish, and shamelessly defile their parent's houses with their bodily fluids!!! All characterisitics that make them ripe for slaughter!!!! The third and most important element, however, that was introduced in the Halloween series and emulated by bad horror movies everywhere was the artform that is the sequel. The Halloween series represented the first important slasher film that would spawn a series of sequels and any bad movie fan knows that the sequel inevitably leads to cheaper and cheaper kills that consequently lead to more and more laughs!!! I for one think that for any bad movie fan THIS should be the element that inspires the most gratitude as the bad movie couldn't possibly exist were it not for this vital element and as a result all of you out there must stand down from its funk, byatch!!

The plot of the series follows along the following lines: Michael Myers, a disturbed young man who viciously stabbed his sister to death as a child, returns to finish the job of eliminating his family by returning to his hometown of Haddonfield and slaughtering countless teenagers along the way in his quest to eliminate his half sister Laurie Strode on every freak's favorite holiday, Halloween!!! The later installments bring a younger relative into it (Laurie's daughter) and expand the storyline with the unveiling of his origin!!! While not as campy as the Friday the 13th series, the Halloween series remains a highly enjoyable series (the first two are excellent and actually legitamately scary!!) and nothing freaks me out like that damn scary ass mask!!! EAGLE TE PAYS HOMAGE AND SO SHOULD YOU!!!

The Individual Films Themselves

HALLOWEEN
"The Night HE Came Home"

The Babysitter Murders
Released: 1978
Runtime: 93 minutes
Directed By: John Carpenter
Michael Myers Played By: Nick Castle
BODY COUNT: 7

The original that started it all!!! This movie is AWESOME and is VERY scary. Micheal Myers slips in and out of the shadows and dodges the equally cool Dr. Loomis (played by the late Donald Pleasance) as he systematicly stalks and hunts down the virginal Laurie on Halloween!!! The ravings of Loomis (the 'pure evil' quote is priceless) and the frightning image of that ghostly white mask in the background has an effect that I have yet to see emulated in a non Halloween film both before or since!! This movie is priceless and if you haven't seen it GET OFF YOUR ASS and rent it now you pathetic fuck!!!

HALLOWEEN 2
"All New. From The People That Brought You "Halloween"... More Of The Night HE Came Home."

Released: 1981
Runtime: 92 minutes
Directed By: Rick Rosenthal
Michael Myers Played By: Dick Warlock
Black Star Ninja Played By: Sho Kosugi
BODY COUNT: 10

The second installment in the series that picks up where the original left off!!! This one is just as scary and just as good as the first one and stands as one of the few sequels in movie history that is legitimately worthy of the original that spawned it!! The empty hospital setting makes for some genuinely scary parts that had Eagle Te cringing in fear in the corner with his trusty Nintendo Light Zapper and two Power Gloves on my hands to fend off the evil presence that is Michael Myers!!! The walking through the glass door scene and the killing of the security guard are some of the best of what is a long list of bad ass kills in this flick!!! Definitely worth your time and in some ways better than the original!!!

HALLOWEEN III: SEASON OF THE WITCH
"The Night Nobody Came Home"

Released: 1983
Runtime: 95 minutes
Directed By: Tommy Lee Wallace
Michael Myers Played By: Nobody(!)
BODY COUNT: Who gives a fuck?

Screw whoever thought up this gigantic turd!!! SKIP THIS ONE AS IT HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH THE REST OF THE SERIES AND STANDS AS ONE OF THE WORST MISTAKES IN MOVIE HISTORY...ALONG WITH LEONARD 6 AND ISHTAR!!!! Originally intended as the first of what would be a Tales from the Crypt type line up using the Halloween name, it stands as one of the biggest bombs out there and there isn't even ONE redeeming moment out there...JUST PRETEND IT NEVER HAPPENED AND GO AHEAD TO NUMBER 4!!!!

HALLOWEEN 4: THE RETURN OF MICHAEL MYERS
"Ten Years Ago HE Changed The Face of Halloween. Tonight HE'S BACK!"

Released: 1988
Runtime: 88 minutes
Directed By: Dwight H. Little
Michael Myers Played By: George P. Wilbur
BODY COUNT: 19

The fourth installment in this series stands as one of my personal favorites and is more of a bad movie than the more legitimate horror films that are the first and second Halloweens. This one has some VERY funny kills that includes the electrocution of the power station worker that knocks out all power to Haddonfield and the priceless posse of redneck vigilantes hunting Myers makes for some truly hysterical moments that include Myers' ripping one guy's face almost completely off!! You have to see it to believe it!! Also watch for the last twenty minutes of the movie where Myers takes more punishment than a Thai whore on the USS Independence's shore leave day!!! Definitely check this one out for a good laugh!!!

HALLOWEEN 5: THE REVENGE OF MICHAEL MYERS
"Michael Lives, And This Time They're Ready!"

Released: 1989
Runtime: 96 minutes
Directed By: Dominique Othenin-Girard
Michael Myers Played By: Don Shanks
BODY COUNT: 20

The fifth of the series continues with the bad movie motif that was started by the fourth Halloween!!! In this one the scenes to watch out for are the impaling of the horny teen that takes a pitch fork in the back while slamming on his honey and the priceless "Hey Asshole" kill where Myers first scars his victim's prized car than proceeds to plant a garden claw in his fucking forehead!!! The end was very unusual and left many people perplexed until the questions were answered by the 6th installment!! Definitely check out the scene where Loomis beats the hell out of Micheal with a baseball bat while he is trapped in chains and a net!!!

HALLOWEEN: THE CURSE OF MICHAEL MYERS
"Terror Never Rests In Peace!"

Released: 1995
Runtime: 88 minutes
Directed By: Joe Chappelle
Michael Myers Played By: George P. Wilbur
BODY COUNT: 15

The sixth one stands as one of the better sequels in the series and includes not only titties (YEAHHHHH!!!!) but also some strange moments as the origin of Myer's is finally revealed in this one!!! This one also stings a bit as you realize that this is the last one that our favorite hero Loomis takes part in as Donald Pleasance died during the filming of this one. Definitely worth your time and the slaughtering of the cult doctors is truly FUCKED UP!!!! Watch it and enjoy!!!

HALLOWEEN H20: TWENTY YEARS LATER
"Blood Is Thicker Than Water"

Released: 1998
Runtime: 85 minutes
Directed By: Steve Miner (of "Friday the 13th: part 3" fame)
Michael Myers Played By: Chris Durand
BODY COUNT: 6

The seventh installment falls a bit short of the other sequels in the series but still stands as a worthy end and wrap up of the Halloween series!! The body count is patheticly low but the end makes up for any shortcomings present in the film. For a more in depth and full featured review, check out our review of Halloween: H2O on our flick list!!!!

HALLOWEEN LINKS

Sure we've payed homage to one of the greatest mass-murderers of our time, but we are not the beginning, middle, and end for all things HALLOWEEN! There are some other sites out there with tons of info on Michael Myers as well as coupons for a hardy cup of Denti-Moore Beef Stew.

Most likely THE definitive HALLOWEEN site on the web. With tons of information on the series: reviews, pictures, video and audio clips, interviews, everything- HALLOWEEN MOVIES is an incredible site which must be viewed if you consider yourself a Michael Myers fan. An absolutely amazing amount of work went into this and Jesus, it shows. Visit it today!